Lovelyn writes

I have always had this anxiety, that people close to me that I care about are going to leave. Once I meet someone who is ready to be good and real with me, I dissociate; running away mentally while physically present. I had this overwhelming fear that if I pull down my walls for you to come in, you're gonna see all the insecurities I'm trying to cover up and also my many flaws.  These insecurities and flaws are things I couldn't accept about myself and automatically didn't believe they could be accepted by anyone.  I put on a facade to mask the way I really feel about myself I have self hated to a point in my life when I hated looking at mirrors, I didn't want to see that girl in the mirror, because it would just remind me of everything she's going through Oh, I didn't even know who I was anymore I will find myself asking myself questions " Who are you"?, " who are you really"? "Is this you?" But all these started to...

The older generation needs more awareness of mental health and mental health problems Studies have shown that childhood trauma causes a lot of the mental health problems we have in adults today.  In most Nigerian homes, enough attention is not given to the emotional health of children, emotional abuse is being packaged as discipline Parents live under the same roof with children who are suicidal and know nothing about it. Most children are not taught how to express themselves, they were taught indirectly that their feelings don't matter and no one cares. In some homes, only certain emotions are allowed to be expressed  Do you wonder why you keep asking a child " what is wrong with you"? And they can't say anything? It is because they don't have the emotional vocabulary needed at that point to articulate their feelings I feel a type of way but I don't have words, so I just bottle it up and let the pains eat me away. Many adults today still find it very ...

We often time shy away from taking responsibility for the way we feel and act in response to a particular event  And try to shift the blame to something else In doing this, we transfer our power and authority to them unknowingly When you take responsibility for your emotional responses and behaviours, it is then that you recognise that the power to heal is in your hands and not with the other party.  For example, someone calls you a loser The way you interpret it is based on your beliefs which include your rules, thoughts, demands you've made on yourself, other people and the world and also how you see yourself. The consequence of these processes is your emotions and behaviours until we learn that all these are coming from within us, that is when the change you want can kick-start. Have you heard the saying "peoples behaviour is how they feel about themselves"  Well, let me rephrase that, "my behaviour, is not about anyone, it is how I feel about myself"  And I ...