I am responsible for the way i feel and react

We often time shy away from taking responsibility for the way we feel and act in response to a particular event 

And try to shift the blame to something else

In doing this, we transfer our power and authority to them unknowingly

When you take responsibility for your emotional responses and behaviours, it is then that you recognise that the power to heal is in your hands and not with the other party. 

For example, someone calls you a loser

The way you interpret it is based on your beliefs which include your rules, thoughts, demands you've made on yourself, other people and the world and also how you see yourself. The consequence of these processes is your emotions and behaviours until we learn that all these are coming from within us, that is when the change you want can kick-start.

Have you heard the saying "peoples behaviour is how they feel about themselves" 

Well, let me rephrase that, "my behaviour, is not about anyone, it is how I feel about myself" 

And I take full responsibility for the way I think, feel and behave 

Another reason why it is unhealthy to blame your emotional responses on someone else is that this person may never apologise, they might not know that "what they did" triggered something in you 

Are you going to carry that poison around forever? I guess that's not what you want right? 

These are questions to ask yourself next time a person's action toward you makes you feel a type of way 

"What is it in me, that made me react this way?", "What did this trigger in me?", " what part of me responded to this?"

Then you begin to search yourself and dig deeper.

Looking at this from another perspective, you should be glad when something triggers you, because that feeling you get is pointing you to something you probably didn't know about yourself, and once you get to the core of that trigger, you can begin to heal from it. Remember, to become a better version of ourselves we have to put in the work, there might be resistance and lots of pain at first, keep at it and something beautiful will certainly come out of it.